Murphy's Law
by Plouton
Summary: You know that moment when everything you've ever known and loved and understood is brutally ripped from you following a painful death, and then you're forced to deal with the fallout when you realize you have been reincarnated into the corrupt, discriminatory, criminal-infested, gruesome, bastardized world of your favorite anime? Yeah, me neither. Cover by Kurobook


"So, Mercenary-chan," Nami's silky voice drags my attention away from the mug of beer in my hands and towards her form on the other side of the crackling fire place. She is lounging on a scruffy town pulled from her dingy, her toes buried in the cooling beach sand and her own mug of beer is balanced delicately in one calloused hand. "How did a pretty little thing like you end up in the company of two pirates?" She nods towards the two men.

Zoro is slouching back, legs splayed in front of him with one hand propping himself up. His swords lay on a towel next to him, keeping the sand from working its way into the leather and cloth of the sheaths. Luffy is draped comfortably over Zoro's legs on his stomach. His feet kick the air lazily and his head is supported by his hands, elbows buried almost an inch into the sand.

It is a surprisingly relaxing moment between the four of us. The lethargy from yesterday's fight with Buggy and our rapid escape from the islanders finally kicked in, and we decided to spend the night safe in a small bay on an uninhabited island.

"Ah, it's not exactly an interesting story," I wave Nami off, and take gulp from my mug. Luffy giggles at my artless avoidance of Nami's question, and Zoro's lips quirk into a smirk.

"No, no," Zoro's smirk widens in good humor, "I think we'd all like to hear your version of events."

"Yeah, Blue!" Luffy prompts "Captain votes: yes!"

I roll my eyes, "Fine, fine. It really isn't a great story though," I concede. I suppose in retrospect, I too want to know how I ended up involved with the protagonist. I could have sailed into any of the other four seas, but no. My run down little dingy landed me in Shell's Town, and in the very sea I was trying to avoid sailing into. At this point, I reflect, I would rather be back home in the Grandline. "Hmmm. Well my dingy and I sailed out of the Grandline—"

"Why were you in the Grandline?" Luffy interrupts.

"I'm from there."

"Oh, alright!"

"So, I sailed out of the Grandline but I was caught in a pretty large storm…"

* * *

My dingy tipped dangerously and I threw myself against the railing, trying to counterbalance. A wave broke over me, showering me with foam and salt water and my already weak grip on the wooden boards slackened further. I collapsed on the floor under the force of the onrushing water, partially secured under one of the rowing benches, and wrapped one arm around the mast as I scrabble against the wooden hull to haul myself back onto my knees. The boat tipped again and I threw my weight against the starboard side of the boat, just in time to prevent me from capsizing.

The storm had been raging for nearly five hours, and the combination of dehydration, hunger, and salt water was wearing dangerously on my exhausted body. My miniscule navigational knowledge told me I had been thrown way off course, and the merchant vessel I had originally been on had blown out of sight hours ago, along with the antagonizing pirate ship.

I was under the impression that the weather wasn't supposed to be as bad outside of the Grandline. Apparently I was mistaken. Another wave crashed against my boat.

17 years. I have survived for 17 years in this GOD DAMNED WORLD, and there wasn't a chance in hell that I was going to fall to my watery grave now that I've made it so far. Not after escaping _them_. I gagged on the salty water and rocked with the boat. The tattered remnants of a black flag embellished with a jolly roger whipped through the air over my head. I collapse to my knees, and the steadily growing puddle of water pulled me into unconsciousness.

* * *

"So that's how the marines grabbed you?" Zoro pulls me from my recollections. "No wonder you looked like shit."

"Gee thanks," I retort, eyes narrowing. "You weren't looking too hot either."

The swordsman shrugs his shoulders lightly. "At least I was in that base of my own violation."

"Hmm. Well. I seem to spend a lot of my time in places not of my own violation," I shoot him a pointed glare, reminding him of my current predicament.

"Oi, oi. It's not my fault you're here," he gestures at Luffy, "it's his."

Luffy giggles again, cheeks flushing slightly as I turn my glare on him. "Not my fault, Zoro said he liked you, so I _had_ to kidnap you." I wonder how much beer he's stolen from Zoro's tankard, he's quite a happy drunk. Giggly, but much more mellow than usual.

Nami snorts, a rather unladylike mannerism that would make her fit right in any pirate crew she attached herself to. It is also entirely falsified, though I give her props for her acting skills. "Nothing like mutual crucifixion to build a friendship."

"You are all terrible to me," I pout.

"Terrible to you? I pretty distinctly remember you being the terrible one. The first thing you did when you met me was call me a shithead."

"Yeah, well, the first thing you said to me was 'you look dead', just what every lady want's to hear."

"What can I say, I'm a real charmer."

"You're no lady," Luffy says. "You insulted me when we first met too."

I roll my eyes, "You're right, I'm not married to a lord. I'm actually a princess, obviously." I tease, poking the rubber boy's cheek.

Nami snorts again and drains her mug. "Continue the story. The marines dragged you into Shell's town and chained you up?"

I nod. "Basically. To be perfectly honest, there was nothing charming about my introduction to Roronoa Zoro. I looked half dead. He looked half dead. Helmeppo was a bit of a cunt. But we're all alive, so that's a definite win."

* * *

I groaned slightly, before breaking of into a weak coughing fit. My throat burned from the dry air and my headache told me of my dehydration. My lips were dry and cracked and my skin felt stiff from the dried salt. I blinked my eyes open, squinting due to the harsh sunlight. It took me a few moments to get my bearings.

"Shit! Fuck!" I swore, tugging on the rope that tied me to the wooden crucifix. It chafed my skin, irritating my sunburns further. I sagged, already drained and shut my eyes against my building headache. My stomach contracted painfully and I fight down the urge to vomit.

I didn't even have the strength to manipulate my devil fruit and cut myself free, an action which should have been so simple I could do it in my sleep. In fact, I have done it in my sleep. Wake not a sleeping lion and all that.

"Oh?" A surprised voice came from my left. "You're not dead yet?" The voice was deep and hoarse, and I knew without turning my head that the man was another prisoner.

"Do I look dead to you, shithead?" My eyes slid closed in exhaustion.

There was a brief silence and I could feel the man assessing me. "Yes." He finally decided. "You look just about dead."

I rolled my head from where it hung against my chest to my shoulder so that I could look at him without wasting energy to hold my head up and snorted in derision at the sight that greeted me. "You don't look much better, hypocrite."

It's true. His exposed skin was blistered and red, and his loose white shirt and black pants hung off his emaciated form. He must have been quite muscular, but the lack of food and water has caused him to atrophy. A green haramaka was soaked through with sweat and his face, streaked with blood and grim, was shadowed slightly by a black bandana. Despite his unhealthy appearance, he still seemed to radiate power. In this circumstance I doubted I had the same effect.

How the hell did the marines of some crummy little… wherever we are… manage to tie up a guy like this? There has to be some sort of leverage involved.

He smirked at my comment. "That's fine. I only need to survive another 11 days." I didn't respond.

There was no point in facilitating the man's delusions. He's a moron if he thought the marines would let him go. Instead I cranked my neck uncomfortably, admiring the marine base and tried to calculate how long it would take until its shadow cover me from the sun. Four hours maybe?

"Oi." The man grunted. "The least you could do is respond. We are both stuck out here together, might as well talk." I let my head fall back to my chest and grimaced in discomfort. My stomach cramped painfully and growled. "It'll take your mind off the hunger," he bargained.

I chuckled at that. "Don't pretend that this is for my benefit. You'd just rather talk to a person than to a hallucination." He glared at me stubbornly; his pride interfering with his need for human interaction. He didn't respond and I drifted off into an exhausted haze.

…

…

…

"Zoro." Several hours later the man's voice broke the silence and startled me from me tentative daze.

"Bless you."

"Wha-? No. Zoro. That's my name," he said.

The sun had long since fallen below the horizon and the inky black sky stretched over head, granting me a brief reprieve from the harsh heat. Turned out, the crucifixion yard was situated in such a way that the bases shadows never covered its unfortunate victims.

I suppose I'm fortunate to have practice resisting various methods of torture, because death by exposure was long and painful and a lesser woman would have been begging for mercy by this point. Although I didn't know who she would be begging for mercy from. No one had entered the yard since I got here.

I twisted slightly in my restraints and looked at the man. Somewhere in the back of my heat addled mind his name rung a bell. In retrospect, I feel stupid for not recognizing the swordsman. It's not like I spent years seeing his face in a manga or anything.

"I overestimated you." My voice was scratchy and barely audible.

"What?"

"Thought you'd be more stubborn." I coughed, trying to get rid of my cotton mouth. "Apparently I hit the nail on the head." He'd obviously been out here for a while and the heat and hunger had started messing with him. Talking to a person was definitely preferable to talking to a mirage.

Zoro grunted in affirmation. "19 days."

"Pirate?" I guessed.

"Bounty hunter." He said.

"Why are you here then. Didn't realize the marines were locking up you vigilantes now."

He twitched slightly, and it might have been a shrug. "You'll meet him soon enough."

I accepted the answer easily. Bad eggs were common amongst the marine hierarchy. Power corrupts. "Bad rap with the marines then."

"You could say that." He chuckles. "What about you?"

I hesitated here and the man's grinning visage filled my mind -

"Welcome to the family, little sister."

\- I had to physically jerk to shake it away. "Merc."

He gawfed incredulously. "You? A mercenary?"

"Rude fuck aren't you." Despite my words, I wasn't all the offended. Being underestimated never hurt in my field.

"Obviously not that good considering the dragged you in here half dead."

I barely suppressed a sigh. What a patronizing ass. "I was half dead before they found me. Sailed out of the Grandline." I'd like to see you try that, buddy. You'd be eaten alive. "The marines just happened to be lucky enough to pull me out of the water."

"Wanted?"

Again I thought of the smiling face of my brother. I imagined his fury in realizing I was missing. I wonder if I broke his heart when he learned I left willingly. The thought almost made me regret my decision. "In a manner of speaking." I finally replied.

"Then why'd the marines hang you out here with me?"

"My—ah— _borrowed_ dingy flew a pirate flag."

"Stupid move."

I barked out a laugh. "Yeah, I suppose so," and I drifted off after that, my exhaustion finally pulling my under.

…

…

…

The cold water stung and shocked me into alertness. I jerked against my restraints, eyes flying open in panic, and coughed harshly to rid my lungs of the frigid liquid. It took me a moment to recognize my surrounding, which was aided by the marines situated in front of me, flanking a flamboyantly dressed blonde in a plum suit.

"Well, well, well. Good morning ~" The blonde man crooned.

I stared at him blandly. "Not really."

My nonchalance was clearly an undesired reaction because the purple monstrosities face quickly flushed in anger. "Now you listen here, you little tramp, I'm the boss around here. I could have you executed in a second!" He screeched.

His voice was very grating, I noticed hazily. I'm exhausted. If this clown could just _go away_ I could go back to sleep.

"I'm the one who managed to lock up the Pirate Hunter, Roronoa Zoro!" My eyes fluttered open as the sudden realization hit me with all the force of a freight train. Of course, that's why the man next to me was so familiar. "Just imagine what I could do to you!"

* * *

"Wait. Back up." Zoro interrupts me. "You're telling me that all this time you actually did know who I was?"

I blink in surprise, "Well. Yeah."

"But you said you're from the Grandline. How did you know my name then?"

"I read the newspaper dumbass. You've been mentioned a few times in the East Blue sections. Your name is attributed to all the bounties you've taken down," I say.

A contemplative look crosses Zoro's face. "Oh."

I chuckle. "Don't go getting a big head now. The only reason I remember your name is that I paid a lot of attention to bounties for my work. Wanted to make sure there wouldn't be a competition encroaching on my territory or anything like that." I shrug. "You're name isn't common knowledge outside of the East Blue."

Zoro nods in understanding, pausing to shift Luffy into a more comfortable position. "Alright, keep going." He hands his mug to Nami who refills it.

I also ask for a refill. "Basically, I told Helmeppo to fuck off. Anyone who needs two bodyguards to go threaten two half dead, incapacitated people."

* * *

Helmeppo was seething by the time I finish insulting him. He was nearly blue in the face but knew he lost the battle when he couldn't think of a clever retort.

He settled for "I'll have you executed! Just you wait and see! When my father is finished overseeing the erection of his statue, he'll chop off your head!"

I snickered. "Definitely could have phrased that one better. Death threats are more threatening when the word 'erection' isn't used in eh same sentence. I'll give you a 2/10."

My retort sent the idiot stomping off, followed by his lackeys.

I waited for him to disappear through the gate and back into the marine base before turning to Zoro. "So he's the reason you're in here? What a joke."

"He's an eyesore. He's let me go after the end of the month, though. So I don't have to put up with his shit for too much longer."

"10 more days?"

"10 more days."

I nod. "Well, then I'm going to have a nap until my execution." I passed out quickly after that. A bad decision, btu not one I really made willingly. I was just _so tired_. Devil fruit users and salt water really just don't mix well. Especially when combined with dehydration and starvation.

* * *

"I don't really remember anything after that. Next thing I knew Luffy was trying to pour a gallon full of water down my throat."

Luffy pouts, blowing his cheeks out in his best imitation of a chipmunk. "But you needed water."

"Unconscious people don't want water. They're unconscious." I retort.

Luffy just grins at me.

"You don't remember anything else?" Zoro asks?

"Nope."

Nami turns her attention to the swordsman. "So you just kidnapped her?"

"It was either that or be executed." Zoro explains.

"And you went along with it?" She asks Luffy.

"Yeah! Helmeppo fired a gun at her and it just bounced off her shoulder. She has a mystery power. So she's cool." He nods decisively.

I laugh at his description of my devil fruit. "And that is how I got kidnapped and forced to join a pirate crew." I finish the last dregs of my beer and chuck the now empty mug towards the barrel of beer. I can pick it up in the morning. "Any other questions?"

Nami shakes her head. "No. I'm good. I guess I just didn't expect such a cute girl to stick around. You didn't try to leave."

I open my mouth to respond but Luffy beats to me it. "She's my friend now. She's not leaving." I don't bother to retort. I'm not planning on going anywhere.

Luffy wraps a rubbery limb around my waist and drags me into an almost dogpile on top of Zoro (who had adapted surprisingly quickly to Luffy's tactile displays of affection). Nami scoots around the campfire to sit a few inches to my right and lays down across the sand, a towel pillowed under her head.

How incredibly domestic we all are. It's funny really, how easily we all seem to fit together.

Nami hums lightly, "Not going to tell us how you got in that situation in the first place?"

I smile, "Nah. I'm sure it'll come out in time, the past always seems to catch up anyways." And in my case, I could more or less guess exactly when it would come up. Perks of being a reincarnation.

I lean back against Luffy with a thump and I can feel the air rush out of his lungs as I squish him between my weight and Zoro's chest. The swordsman takes the opportunity to readjust us, and I slide off him, dropping my head partially onto his thigh and partially onto Luffy's lap. I fling my legs over Nami's stomach, pulling her into our pile.

This is good.

One day, it'll be great

"I'll wake you up in a few hours for second watch, Blue" Zoro murmurs. I hum back but am asleep before he responds.

* * *

 **Authors Note**

AND HELLO!

Gosh, it's been ages since i've updated. In fact, this is the official rewrite of this story. Some of you who are returning to this story will notice that the previous chapters aren't here. I have removed them and will repost them in a separate story if anyone want's to read them. HOWEVER, **_these chapters are_ _ **n** o longer canon_** to Blue's story. That's not to say I've made major changes to the characters inhabiting Blue's past. She is still Taipan D. Aconite. However, the details and circumstances surrounding her childhood have changes somewhat since I started writing this story.

That means that if you are new to this story, YOU DO NOT NEED TO READ THE OLD CHAPTERS.

Blues past will be explored in this story. I've just decided to go about it a different way that I was when I started this story.

I'm currently in the middle of stuvac and finals, so there won't be any more updates for another month. I appreciate everyones patience so much.

Thank you all for your continued support and I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the new chapter, so please review!

Over and out,  
Plouton


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